I have so many emotions surging through me right now.
We just got back from Omaha where we went to Popeye's grandmother's funeral. Popeye is her first-born grandchild and he wasn't asked to be a casket bearer. It has upset him so much and I don't know how to help him. The men that were asked to do that weren't even men that Grandma liked very much. Well, a couple of them were, but most weren't. It was very offensive.
And not only that - Popeye's uncle didn't even know that Grandma was in the hospital, let alone died, until the next morning! The sister's handled everything but left the brothers out completely. My mother-in-law tried to get them to include Popeye & his brother in the ceremonies but they didn't. I know there's nothing we can do about it now except try to muddle through these hurt feelings.
And now the sisters are in charge of taking care of the estate and Popeye wants only one thing. The flag from his grandfather's funeral. His grandfather served in the Navy, as did Popeye's father. Not one of the other children/grandchildren have served in the armed forces (I have to include that last part because they've served time - just not in the armed forces). I think it's only fair & fitting that the flag be passed down through the servicemen in the family. Don't you? And my father-in-law being the quiet man he is, probably won't get too involved in the estate divisions.
And this makes me sad. I foresee a lot of sentimental things going to the meth-head cousins rather than the ones who cared most, even though they may have lived far away.
The lack of respect from the cousins was astonishing to me. Showing up in jeans, tee-shirts, beanies & half sober. Quite the legacy she left behind. The only respectable ones were the ones that broke away from that small town. I'm not joking. It was sad. And it makes me sad for Popeye that he wants nothing to do with his extended family. If this sounds like a "holier than thou" post - it is. I've never tried touting my own horn about my "righteous" behavior. But man, seeing them makes me think that I'm doing a pretty good job getting through this life.
Another feeling: I'm glad we were able to go. Popeye was able to have a very special moment at the funeral that leaves me knowing his grandmother loved him very much. I'm so glad he had that moment. I'm trying to touch on that to help him through his hurt feelings.  I wonder if Grandma heard Grand Duchess ask me, "How is Great Grandma going to wake up?" Me: "What was that, Sweetie?" Her: "How will she know when to wake up? We should put an alarm clock in there with her." Me: "*chuckling* She doesn't need an alarm clock. Jesus will wake her up when it's time for her to wake up." It was such a sweet moment, I hope Great grandma heard it. And I think she did.
It was a weekend with a lot of mixed emotions. And it took all of the money that I had just made at my craft fair to go there. Which now leaves me feeling so distraught that Christmas will be bleak. I've tried picking up a few things here and there for the kids through the year, but with this job paying less than what we need to live, I haven't been very productive in that department. I wish I had a cleaning gig or two to bring in some money for gifts. I know it's not supposed to be about the presents, but it's hardly fair for the kids to go without on Christmas morning. Praying for a small miracle that I can make it work somehow.
My fingers are sore from all the orders I'm filling. I got 6 done on our trip & was able to pick up some much needed supplies at Hobby Lobby while I was there. Now that all of my yarn that I ordered has gotten here & all the little extra bobbles are purchased, I can bust these out like no one's business! After I do some laundry, clean the kitchen, sweep the living room, etc...
Oh, and my Dyson died AGAIN! This time it won't turn on. :( So off to Sears she went again to be sent to Denver to get fixed. I took her there last week and called them today to see when she got sent off. As my luck would have it, she is still sitting at Sears. Company is coming for Thanksgiving and I'll have dirty carpets. I hate Sears for this reason. I wish I had a back up vacuum - or that one of my friends had 2 that I could use one. :(
Man, this is certainly the gripe post, isn't it? I'm sorry for that. I'm feeling pretty low right now. And didn't feel Facebook would be appropriate to vent.
Okay - I'll finish with a happy thought.
I had a wonderful conversation with Popeye's cousins (normal cousins) who I thought were married but are really brother/sister. I opened my mouth and inserted both feet, but we laughed for a good 10 minutes. And after such a somber day and seeing a lot of tears, it was a wonderful way to finish a funeral. I told Popeye that when I die I want it to be a party. I also told him I wanted a huge tombstone so everyone knows where I'm buried. :) Because of the events of the week, it got me thinking about my life should Popeye not come home. I changed the plan for my life. Instead of going and living with my folks and going back to school, I think I'll just move to Cheyenne, get some land, bury Popeye there (obviously have his body moved) & go back to school there. when voicing this plan to his cousins they thought it strange (and worrisome) that I would have such an elaborate plan. But a plan I have and I feel good about it. :) (I hope I don't have to carry it out, though.)
so, have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. Be sure to eat lots of yummy turkey, give lots of thanks for the blessings you have & enjoy the time with your family.
I'm thankful for all of you. :)