Do YOU have Four Ears?

Yesterday we got home from Omaha. Another long, twelve-hour drive with kids in the back.  At least this time we had air conditioning and only 3 of the 5 kiddos.  Princess Monkey Eyes stayed with Cowgirl and Thor stayed with New Friend (who doesn't have a made-up name yet).  Thanks be to them - immensely!

Anyhow.

After getting an x-ray taken of Mr. Fantastic's head, we saw the surgeon. The incision is perfect. There's no swelling whatsoever. It looks awesome.  Then we had a look at those x-rays.  I could see where the surgeon got the elctrodes in. 

See, there are 16 electrodes in a CI.  He got 8 of them in.  And when I say 'in', I mean, they're sitting in the bone growth of his CI.  They're barely in the cochlea.  He couldn't keep drilling through the bone because the corotid artery sits just behind it. And you don't want to go drilling holes in THAT, now do you? That would be bad.  So he got a partial insertion.
We went to get the ear turned on.
They tested all the electrodes.  They all were responsive.  And then they started seeing what could be heard.
Basically, nothin'.  Electrodes one and two were able to produce sound.  But that's it.  There's just too much bone growth in there.  It's too dense.  The sound waves can't push through it enough to get to the auditory nerve.

So what does that mean?  It means he can hear someone saying, "Ba Ba Ba Ba" but he doesn't know what it is.  It means: he won't be able to decipher between SH and SS and CH.  It means that it doesn't benefit him.
It means that his faith has been shaken. It means MY faith has been shaken.  It means that this was a pointless procedure. It means I feel guilty for convincing the insurance company to fork out the money for the surgery.  It means 3+ trips to Omaha = a waste of time and money.  (I say plus after that 3 because we'll be making another one in 3 weeks for a follow up.)

I am so angry.

And I'm so angry because I want to blog about my feelings but know that my blog has been a source for much gossip, I don't feel I can.

So I'm mad.  Really, really mad.  REALLY.

Last night Mr. Fantastic asked me, "Why doesn't it work?"  I didn't have an answer for him.  I told him to ask Heavenly Father.  So as he prayed, I listened.  He prayed (amongst other things), "Why doesn't it work? You told me it would and I believed You."
Talk about yanking your heart out.

I am wondering the same thing, Buddy.

Tuesday Tip

I saw this tip on a link to the "Today Show".  The lady was showing different ways to use scotch tape.
This tip intrigued me, as I have a few pairs of high heels that hurt my feet after awhile.  However, I willingly suffer because high heels make my legs look sexy.

Tape your third and fourth toes together.  This will cause the muscles in the ball of your foot to be more aligned and cause less pain.
I coulda used THAT tip on Sunday...

I'm trying it out next week.

Part 2

I'm going to keep this somewhat brief. Some of you know how things went with Mr. Fantastic's Surgery. But for all you lurkers out there who don't comment and I don't see on a regular basis (i.e. my sisters), this one's for you.

Mr. Fantastic had his surgery on Tuesday morning.  He did really well with the pre-anesthesia.  Got a little sleepy and would wake up enough to say a few words to the doctors and nurses.  When the surgeon came in, Mr. Fantastic asked him to pray with us.  That was really touching.  The Spirit bore witness that all would be well.

Mr. Fantastic went into surgery around 9:00 a.m. and Popeye and I headed to IHOP for breakfast.  Danish Crepes - delish!!!  We went to Home Depot and bought some trim for the stairs that mysteriously got broken in our absence and then went and got some yarn from Hancock Fabric.  After that we headed to Barnes and Noble and then Target to get Mr. Fantastic a little something.  More browsing took place than anything - but it's nice to just go INTO stores that you don't have nearby.

We got several calls from the OR Nurse saying things like, "All is looking good," "We're starting to drill.", "There's been a complication."  Yep - you read that one right.  The Dr. couldn't get past the bone growth in Mr. Fantastic's inner ear.  He'd still try but a full insertion was out.  Now he's going for a partial.

After some fervent praying on our part, and another phone call from the Dr, my wishes were not to be granted.  A partial insertion was all Mr. Fantastic was going to get.  However, amazingly enough, The Dr. told me that he was about to pull out all together because he couldn't get any of the electrodes to bend the way he needed them to.  So he almost didn't get anything in.  And then at the last second the thought came to him to turn the device.  When he did, the electrodes slipped right in.  7 of them.  So they tested them and they were all responsive.
The Dr. closed up and Mr. Fantastic went to Recovery.

We were discharged later that afternoon and stayed one more night at the Ronald McDonald house just in case.
Now we're home.  He's taken his 'head wrap' off and is getting used to having something else in his head.  He says it's squishy.  Well, it's not bone anymore so - there you go.

(That's a tattoo on his neck, in case you were wondering.  He sure does know where to place 'em! And we've since decorated his headband with signatures and drawings.)

We head back on Tuesday for X-rays, meeting with The Dr. and flipping the switch.  It will be the moment of truth. :)

Oh yeah.  And on the way home, Popeye got a call from Wyoming Highway Patrol.  He got his conditional job offer.  His psychological exam is on Thursday the 22nd.  He passes that and he's got the job for sure.  I just pray that the psychologist doesn't deem him a potential alcoholic again because of his lack of alcohol consumption.  Some people!  Sheesh!

Mr. Fantastic update

This past Tuesday Popeye and I gathered our royal family into our royal carriage and made the trip to Omaha, NE for Mr. Fantastic's pre-operation appointment with the surgeon.
We were staying in Lincoln with a friend and on Wednesday we were planning on spending the day together doing something fun.
On our way there, Popeye got a call from work wanting him to come in. Little did we know that our little town was on a tornado alert and the winds were so bad that it blew a train off of its tracks!   Luckily for us, we were almost to Lincoln and didn't have to turn around.

Wednesday met us with gloomy skies (the aftermath of our storm) and the waterpark trip was deemed out.  The royal children were very disappointed.  We decided to head to the Omaha zoo and that seemed to perk up most of the kids since they've never been to a zoo that took longer than 45 minutes to see everything.  Thor still was not happy.
Needless to say, we got rained on and there was thunder and lightning - but it was still warm.  We had been debating on still going to the waterpark even though rain was in the forecast.  Luckily, we didn't.  With the lightning we would've gotten kicked out and no refund.  Phew.
So we spent the day in Omaha.  Had dinner.  Did a little shoe shopping for Popeye.  Bought souvies for the kiddos.  I want those Sketcher Shape-ups badly, but couldn't muster paying $110 for them.
Went back to Lincoln and cleaned my friend's house for her.  She's trying to sell her house, too, and was leaving for vacay in the morning so I got my groove on and busted it out.  Dusted her light fixtures and cleaned her kitchen.  She had been busy all day, I just finished it off for her.
The next morning we all got out the door by 8:30 as planned - mopping our way out of the house.
We left for Omaha and went up to the Winter Quarters Temple Visitor's Center. We toured that and watched a short video about the Mormon Pioneers.  The kids enjoyed dressing up like pioneers and trying their hand at pulling a handcart.  We then went to meet with the doctor.
He looked younger than I remember.  I remember watching his hands as he typed on his computer and thought of how skilled he must be.  He told me he's performed over 600 CI surgeries.  All of which have never had the facial paralysis or loss of tastebuds side-effect.  (Knock on wood.)  He reminded me that with the bone growth inside Mr. Fantastic's cochlea, a "full insertion" will be rare.  What that means is: the CI has 16 electrodes that attach to the auditory nerve.  A full insertion will be all 16 of those electrodes getting attached.  He knows he can get a partial insertion - but won't know how much until he gets in there.
As we were chatting, I told him that Mr. Fantastic hosted a family fast this past week.  That we all were fasting and praying for a successful surgery.
He looked me in the eye and told me, "I believe in God.  I wouldn't be as successful as I am without Him."  His eyes were misty, as were mine.  In that moment, I knew that Heavenly Father would deliver.
We finished the meeting and left.
15 minutes.
We drove 12+ hours to meet for 15 minutes.  And while there was bickering and fighting and teasing all the way home, it really was worth it.
I realized I needed to talk with the doctor and have the Spirit testify to me that he is in Good Hands.  That both he and Mr. Fantastic are in good hands.  I left Omaha peaceful with Mr. Fantastic's decision.

We arrived home to a house that was still standing and the roof still intact.  No flooding in the basement.  No destroyed flowerbeds.  Granted, Popeye's nemesis is back - the dreaded kitchen sink - but it could be so much more worse.
Tomorrow is Sunday and I'll be fasting once again.  This time, instead of fasting and praying for Mr. Fantastic to be able to hear completely, I'll be fasting for a full insertion.  I desperately want the doctor to go in there and say, "Oh my Goodness.  His cochlea is clear.  Let's do this!"  I want to be one of those stories.  You know the ones: 'My so & so had cancer.  We had a family fast and the next day it was gone...'  I want that.  An x-ray that says there's bone growth and then it's gone.  Miracle.
But this whole process in and of itself is a miracle.  And I am blessed.
Monday we leave for Omaha again.  A new friend is staying with the 4 younger munchkins. I love her.
We check in at 6:30 a.m. on Tuesday for surgery.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Pictures

I have finally uploaded photos from my phone and thought I'd post some.  Some of these are from the branding party (taken by Jenni) a month ago.  You can find more of Jenni's fabulous work (and see more of the branding photos) over at Applegreen Photography.

Yesterday the city workers were doing something with the water lines on our street.  They ended up opening up the hydrant across from our house and the kids had the most wonderful time trying to stay standing in that mad blast of water!  They finally gave up and played in the street.

That's me, on the top and there's Popeye on the bottom.  Mmmm, mmm - he's so hot.

There he is again.  And that's Princess Monkey Eyes on branding day.  I love her curls.

Popeye bought Princess Monkey Eyes and I new cowgirl hats for the branding.  I totally dig mine!

There's Grand Duchess with a light saber - she's growing so fast and wants to be a part of the action. The other pic is of Princess Monkey Eyes, her friend and Thor out at the ranch.  We were feeding the calf, Daffy, that day and the kids were chasing it and then it would turn around and chase them back.  It was so funny to watch!

I need to get a new camera.  Mr. Fantastic is having surgery in two weeks and I need to take pics of that process for him.  I should post more pics of the boys - but they just aren't as cute as the girls.  :)  Okay, that's not totally true - I just rarely take pictures of them.

Really quick...maybe

here's the latest.

We had major hail damage on the north side of our house and garage. Holes in the siding and a busted roof. Needless to say - the house STILL is not on the market.
Last week it was unbearably hot but Popeye and I got the siding removed and reinstalled in 100+ degree weather on the garage.  Looks good.  Tomorrow I'll let him remove the siding from the house while I paint the garage to match and install the trim.

Mr. Fantastic has his surgery scheduled for July 13th so we're counting down the days to when we'll start making the long, numerous trips to Omaha for all that is entailed in that.  Pre-operation appointments, operation and then turning the thing on.  After that we'll have to go quarterly for adjustments.  It's a 6 hour drive, one way.  So not fun.  I'm thinking a DVD player for the van will be a must-buy within the next few weeks.

I'm done working for the summer.  Oh how I miss some of my clients.  Some of them, not so much, but there are days when I long to make a difference in someone else's life.  I cleaned my house the other day.  Spent 3 hours on the main floor.  Oh how it sparkled and shined.  The kids stayed outside.  They played in the sprinklers. They came in to go potty.  They tracked grassy wetness across my shiny, clean floors.  I told them to turn around and pee outside. 
Needless to say, I think I need therapy - or a summer camp for the kids while the house is on the market.

Popeye's job "search" is going well.  The state trooper doing Popeye's background investigation is optimistic that he'll get the job.  That is, given he doesn't dig up some nasty dirt.  not happenin'.  So that aspect of our life is moving forward.  We're excited and nervous all at the same time.

Everyone else is fine.  It's allergy season so I am not even going to spell-check this or re-read it as my head is throbbing with sinus pressure.  I just took the last Zyrtec and Sudafed today - everything else in my medicine cabinet has expired.  Guess I need to go to the store tomorrow.  Lovely.  I hate asking for Sudafed - I feel like a criminal.  And when I'm all congested like this - I'm sure I look like a criminal, too.

Anyhow.  Popeye gave me a week off a couple of weeks ago.  It was heaven.  I went to my mom and dad's to stay.  Took my sewing machine, yarn, crochet hooks & money.  I read my scriptures each morning without interruption.  I sewed 8 skirts for the girls.  I crocheted one hat for Grand Duchess.  I watch movies galore.  I helped Mom prepare for a catering job that week.  I talked with her and laughed with her and we went to the movies and saw "Letters to Juliet" (which I recommend if you like clean, chick-flick flicks).  I visited with my uncle who came through.  I bought lots of fabric from Hobby Lobby.  I had a wonderful time!  Simply wonderful.
I came home refreshed and ready to be a mom and wife again.  I had been struggling with motherhood and wife-hood for a while.  Not a lot of people know that.  I went home on Thursday morning only to turn around Friday and go back with Popeye and the kids (Stake temple day was the next day).  I helped Mom with her job on Friday night and was hit on by a young man - the cousin of the groom.  He knew I was married with 5 kids and yet he still flirted with me.  While it was a serious ego booster (Who doesn't like to be hit on my an attractive young guy? - Young being the operative word, here) - I am glad I went home the night before to be with my family to help me realize that I really do love each of them.
And for the record, I'm sure it was the tummy-slimming cami and the fake eye-lashes that had him so entranced.

So I'm home.  We've been fishing and camping and having all sorts of "fun". The kids think I clean too much. I think they should clean up after themselves so that we wouldn't have to do so much cleaning.

And now my medicine is kicking in and I must meet my bed with welcome sighs of bliss.

Still Going Strong

Today is June 5, 2010.  Precisely 11 years ago (to the day, too) I married the man of my dreams.
Oh how I wish my scanner was working so I could scan in a couple of pictures from our earlier years. 

Our wedding was beautiful.  We were married in the Denver LDS Temple.  I had a gorgeous wedding dess and Popeye wore a white tux (I wasn't too keen on it, but hey - he had to have say over SOMETHING that day).  My eldest sister said we looked like Audrey Hepburn and Kurt Russell. (Insert picture here...)

We had a luncheon following the ceremony at a country club in Lonetree, CO.  The food was yummy.  The cake?  Not so much.  I'm not a fan of fondant, but that's okay.  It's not always about the cake.

After a brief rest (NOT!) we went to the church where the cultural hall was magically transformed into a tent-like atmosphere.  The food was delicious (even though we didn't get to eat a whole lot).  The cake - absolutely decadent!!!  Oh, I'm salivating now.

And the dancing.  There was lots of it and it was fun!

And we drove away on Popeye's harley.  Sweet.  Sunglasses, leather jackets and our wedding garb.  People were honking and waving as I had my arms wrapped around Popeye's waist.  It was a deliciously warm night. (Insert another picture of us on the harley here...)

And jumping forward 11 years, we're still in love.  Sometimes I don't like the man.  I mean, he can drive me bonkers.  But then he makes up for it - like the flowers on Mother's Day, showering the kids on Saturday night, letting me sleep in when he's going on little or no sleep.  he's an amazing husband and treats me like a queen.  In all 11 years of marriage he has never yelled at me.  Not once.  And the fights are more of the silent type - and they're pretty few, too.

I have thoroughly enjoyed being married.  It's been rough. But it's been good.  We have 5 beautiful, well-mannered (for the most part) children.  We have a home and we have each other.  We are happy.

So tonight I think I should find a sitter to come over so I can take my man on a date.  But maybe we'll just stay in, pop some popcorn and watch Nacho Libre. 

Here are a few photos for your viewing pleasure.

2008 Christmas Photo Shoot - I was preggo with Grand Duchess

February 2009

March 2008 at The Stanley Hotel