I'm just thinking things here - stuff that I presented to Popeye earlier today - and it will probably jump around and be completely incoherent, but whatever. It's my post and that's that.


Here's my latest 'wondering'.  I feel like I'm having an identity crisis.
Yesterday The Royal Family & I headed to a friend's house for a "branding party".  Popeye bought us both boots and hats for the event.  We had a most wonderful time wrestling calves to the ground and pinning them while they got branded, vaccinated and castrated (only the boys, you know).  Anyway.  It was awesome.
That lifestyle is what my inner-most self yearns for.
But then I have this other lifestyle that I yearn for as well.  One that includes neighbors, a fenced yard, trick-or-treating from the front door and walking to school that's a block or two away.
I was looking at my front coat closet this afternoon and noticed something.  All of the shoes.
There's lots of them.  And (oops) a lot of them are mine.
I have my cowgirl boots (still with poo on the bottom that didn't give me blisters) sitting by the front door. 
I have my running shoes that I use for everyday living because of comfort and practicality. (Hey, it's easier to chase after a 3 year old running down the street in those rather than flip flops.)
There are the few pairs of flip flops and ballet flats that I wear when my feet need to breathe and see the sunshine for the few brief moments that I take the trash out or run out to the garage.
I also have my assortment of strappy-sexy sandals and my knee-high stripper boots.
What do they all mean?  Some make me feel attractive and desirable.  Some make me feel motivated.  Some laid back and lazy.  And now the boots - the cowgirl ones, not the stripper ones - make me feel strong and wanting to be outside working.
As I was looking at the shoes and thinking about what they 'mean', I started feeling lonely, confused, frustrated... whatever.  But it made me ask outloud, "Why can I not be happy with myself?  Why am I always trying to change myself to please others?" 
Ever since I can remember I've adapted myself to please others. To fit in. To be accepted.  In the teenage years it was all about the boys.  I had no problem getting dirty, holding snakes, playing football but I also had to be skinny, beautiful and have make up on.  (Hey, it's how I landed Popeye.) I look at pictures of myself when I was 16 and think, "How could I have had such a low self-image?  LOOK at those thighs!  I'd kill for those thighs right now."  But yet, I allowed outside influences to influence ME.
And those outside forces are still working.  Am I trying to be a cowgirl because of the friendships I've made?  Or am I using the friendship to help me develop my inner cowgirliness?  Should I buy my clothes at a certain store to get me into the 'In' crowd? If I get a certain calling will I finally be friends with 'her'?  If I bite my tongue and not say anything, will she like me more?  Why do I let other's opinions of me affect me so much? 
Popeye says that it's because I'm looking for another Milkmaid Supreme and just haven't found her yet. (Not that I'm wanting to replace Milmaid Supreme by any means.  I miss her terribly and wish we lived MUCH closer.)  But Popeye says that I'm yearning for that same relationship.  A completely trusting friendship where I don't have to question loyalties.  I see friendships being made around me and then watch them get torn apart because of deceit or selfishness.  And I watch other friendships that seem to progress and wait with baited breath for them to fall apart.  And when they don't, I'm envious because it wasn't ME that was the progressing one.
I think I'm destined to be a life-time long-distance friend.  I'm pretty good at those.  If I torque my long-distance friends then they can hang up the phone and mull it over until we talk again and all is forgiven.  But here.  Here in Small Townville I must see these friends weekly (sometimes daily) and I'm a lot to take sometimes.  The breaks aren't long enough before feelings can be mended.
Which leads me back to being a cowgirl.  Out in the country you don't have the neighbors right next door.  So seeing them everyday and offending everyday is scarce.  In the country you have chores that surpass the everday laundry, cooking, cleaning. There's cows to be fed, chickens to be fed, eggs to be gathered, gardens to be tended to, fences to be mended, horses to be watered, etc... 
Perhaps this is my answer.  Maybe the cowgirl boots should stay and the stripper boots get put into the back of the closet.  After all, nothing is sexier to a man than a woman who can pull her own weight (and then some) around the farm.

(And as a subnote - I'll be posting about the  branding as soon as I can get my pics uploaded to the computer.  SUPER time! Everyone should do it.)

Busy.

Popeye is leaving for a few days tomorrow.  He has some training for work that he needs to go to.  So I took the week off of my own work to stay home with the kids.  And we all know how I get while Popeye's away.

Today we primed the trim outside the house.  The rain finally let up enough to let us outside.  I hate climbing up ladders, so I had to wait for Popeye to be able to help me.  We got almost the whole house done this morning.  Now we just need a nice coat of white over that primer and the painting outside will be done!  YEAH!
Tonight I'll probably just clean up and get things ready for while he's gone. Hee hee hee.  I don't even think he knows what my plans are while he's gone.

Starting this past Saturday evening, we began potty training Thor.  Up until then he hasn't shown any interest at all, even with the bribe of candy (which he would swim with sharks if it meant a tasty treat).  But he was all for it!
So far so good.  A few accidents but he woke up dry this morning and I'm still feeling optimistic!  I'll continue with it through the week and hopefully he'll be like his big brother, Mr. Fantastic, and be completely trained by the end of the week!

It's been awhile since posting.  I really just wanted to let everyone know I'm still here.  And if you're wondering what I've been up to - check out my side bar and see all the '*DONE*' marks next to my projects.
Estimated date to put the house on the market - May 31.

And now that the cat's somewhat out of the bag (at least Popeye's boss knows), we're looking at switching law enforcement agencies.  So even though we've outgrown the house (hey, we moved into it and it was already outgrown), we'll probably be looking in another state for a house to buy.
So if you know anyone looking for a cute little house, I've got one.
I'll post pictures as soon as we're done with everything so you can see the improvements!

And on that note, time to make dinner and then get the boys to soccer so I can declutter a room or two.

Tuesday Tip!

I was cleaning today for The Party Animal.  I call her The Party Animal because she's this little bitty old lady who always thinks her house is messy.  It's not.  I joke with her that she needs to stop partying so much because I can barely get through my work in my allotted amount of time.

Anyway.  So I was at The Party Animal's house this morning, cleaning her kitchen.  She just bought a new canister of Comet.
I love the stuff.  It works great at getting the scratches out of sinks and tubs.  But today, the stuff came in handy on her formica countertop.  She spilled some coffee and wiped it up - but there was a nice brown ring left in it's place.  Now I know a lot of you drink coffee on a regular basis - so this tip will totally come in handy.  It will also come in handy for Kool-aid spills, berry juice and other such stain-y disasters.
Just sprinkle it on and take one of those green scotch-brite pads and get that stain out.  Then rinse with some water or 409 or whatever...
I am pretty sure that Soft Scrub will work just as well, also.  The jury's still out on which product I like better...  But they're both comparable.

So there you go.  A tip that you all probably have used a bazillion times, but that I just found a new use for today.

(Things are progressing with the house.  Tonight, as soon as the kids go to bed, I'll finish smoothing down the putty on the trim and then, perhaps tomorrow, start painting it.  I've also begun packing things up and lined up a storage unit that I'll start transferring them to tomorrow.  Thanks be to a new friend who just moved here - the movers just brought their stuff and she is graciously giving me a bunch of her UBER NICE moving boxes!  Can't beat that!  On that note - I hear bickering...  Time to go play referee.)

I love Indian Cuisine, but this is too much!

Last week I accepted a job from a local realtor to clean a 3 bedroom apartment.  Not a big deal, right?  I do move-outs all the time.  I went and inspected the property and told the realtor that I'd do the job for no less than $100 but that if it took me longer than 4 hours, I would charge $25/hr after that.
"No problem." Said He.

So today I got busy.  Got over there at 8 o'clock this morning and started moving out whatever the tenant had left behind.  Realtor wanted me to just throw it all away (no biggie since we're renting a dumpster from the landfill right now, I just brought it home).  That took a little bit of time, taking off window coverings and such. 
Now see, I guess I neglected to let you in on a secret.  The previous tenants were from India.  Thus cooking with heavy spices.  And they lived there for over 6 years.  You can only imagine the smell.

Over 20 heavy duty towels, 5 window towels, half a roll of paper towels, 2 garbage bags and FIVE and A HALF HOURS later, I start loading up the van.  Items being discarded include (but are not limited to): kitchen chairs, folding table, vacuum, those styrofoam egg-carton pad thingys, and various stinky window treatments. 

I spent 2 hours alone in a kitchen that is smaller than mine (I thought my kitchen was the smallest ever).  I used a whole bottle of INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH DEGREASER on that kitchen.  And I STILL didn't get all the grease off that range hood.  I wanted to pull out the fridge but it was stuck.  I didn't get behind the stove - I ran out of degreaser.  I washed the floor - twice.  The kitchen was nasty.

The bathroom.  Oh boy.  The buildup of calcium deposits and soap scum would make ANYONE scream!  The first thing I did when I got there was to treat that so when the time came for me to clean the bathroom it would be broken up a bit.  I used two bottles of lime away, half a pumice stone and a whole sheet of drywall screen on the tub, toilet and sink.  I took before and after pics, just in case.  (I wish I had taken before and after pics of the kitchen, but I didn't think about it at the time).  I spent an hour and half in the bathroom.  And it is smaller than mine.

Not only did I spend my time degreasing and de-calciumfying (word?), but I washed all the walls, got ALL the cobwebs, took out the screens and vacuumed them and washed all the windows (inside and out).

After including 15 minutes for trash retrieval/removal, the total charge came to be $143.75!!!
I should have upped my fee given the nastiness of the place.  I just didn't think it would take that long when I first said yes.  I thought it would be a piece of cake job. That I could get through everything quickly with a bit of elbow grease.  Never did I imagine that the build-up was 6 years worth of build-up.

So I proceeded over to Realtor's Office and handed the receptionist the invoice.  I explained that there would definitely need to be a paint job done, carpets cleaned and I advised that the wallpaper be removed from the kitchen because it is harboring the smell of curry and Indian spices.  She said, "Well, Realtor will have to go and inspect it, but he just stepped out.  I'll give you a call when you can come get your check."

WHAT?!?!?!  I am so raging, fuming mad.  No, I did NOT sign up for payment upon adequate inspection.  I want my money.  I just spent my regular day off cleaning up after some slob.  I'm doing the work that they (the tenant and realtor) didn't want to do.  And now I have to wait for payment?
So I called 2 hours later.  Realtor answers the phone and I asked him if he had gone up there yet to look at it. 
"I just got into town from Easter break." (Uh huh.  Either you're lying or Receptionist is lying because she said you had just stepped out....  whatever.) 
Me: "So, what time do you guys close up tonight?"
Him: "Around 5.  But I don't think I'll be able to get up there tonight to look at it. Can I do it first thing tomorrow morning?"
Me: "Well, I'm not very happy about it, but if that's the way it has to be.  I'll be working tomorrow morning, so I'll swing by when I'm done to get my check."

I am SO mad.  SO SO SO MAD.
And I smell like curry and other Indian spices.  And Popeye just started the dishwaasher so a shower is out of the question for a couple of hours.

Wanna see the pics?

Can you see the difference? I might add, the only altering of the photos were just the brightness.  The bathroom is poorly lit, so I brightened them up a bit so you can see them better.

And I've decided that I won't do a job for Realtor again.

Fun stuff

The kids and I just finished making Easter cookies.
Have you heard of those?  I got the recipe from Cap'n last year and remembered at the last minute tonight that I wanted to do this with the kids.
I'm so done with the commercialism of holidays. It seems Satan really kicks it up a few notches at Easter time. And rightfully so. The celebration of Christ's victory over death and sin is a big deal - one that Satan would soon rather have us forget.
So, because my kids don't believe in the easter bunny (never have, they've always known it's me giving them treats), we sat down tonight and made some Easter cookies.
Below you'll find the recipe.
Princess Monkey Eyes was almost in tears when I explained to her that our beating the pecans was symbolic of the beating that Christ endured. And then again when she understood that vinegar can't quench someone's thirst (she actually tried the stuff - ick).  But after the sugar's added, they were all so receptive to how 'sweet' the atonement is for us.
It was a good way to end the night and will be a good way to start the morning with finding our hollow cookies.
Thanks Cap'n for the recipe!  It was a huge success!!!
Here you go, Peeps!  I'm sorry I didn't think of posting it sooner so that you could all benefit from it.  But at least you can do it next year - or something like that!

Easter Story Cookies


1 cup whole pecans
1 t vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch salt
1 cup sugar
zipper baggie
wooden spoon
tape
Bible

Preheat oven to 300*F. Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. - Explain that after Jesus was arrested he was beaten by Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 t of vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross he was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus's followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12-15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the white color represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus's body was laid. Read Matthew 27:57-60

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read Matthew 27:65-66

Go to bed! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus's followers were in dispair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22

On Easter morning, open the oven and give each everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter Jesus's followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matthew 28:1-9

HE HAS RISEN!!!

Happy Easter Everyone!  Now, go enjoy conference (or continue enjoying, if you were that lucky to see today's sessions...)

Mr. Fantastic's update

Yesterday we returned home from a fast trip to Omaha.  Popeye and I (along with children 1, 4, & 5) stayed in the fancy-shmancy Hilton Hotel.  It was so nice.  Down comforters (not those polyester things that Days Inn has) and CLEAN sheets, I actually felt fine climbing into bed and sitting on the bedspread.  Granite counters in the bathroom, lovely entertainment center, view, service.  Oh yeah - and the BILL.  Not so lovely.  I now remember why we don't stay at 4 star hotels.  Parking was $9.  No free continental breakfast. To use the gym in the morning cost Popeye $10.  (Had he realized that, he would've gone running outside.)  But the bed was so luxurious!  And the free lotion was really lovely, too. 
Anyway.  I don't think we'll be able to afford to stay there when Mr. Fantastic has his surgery, we'll probably stay at the Ronald Mc Donald house or with family.  But I'm glad we did.

So we went to Omaha for the last round of tests for Mr. Fantastic.  He had a speech/language evaluation, he got his new processor reconfigured and we had an expectations meeting with the head audiologist.  It was a super long day.  And everyone held up famously!  Funny thing.  His new processor is so high tech.  He hears WAY better now.  And when he turns his volume up too loud his eye starts twitching.  It's super funny to see!

So now what?
Well, the cochlear implant team will get together on Wednesday and review Mr. Fantastic's file.  They'll write up their report and submit it to the insurance company.  The insurance company wants to see that he's using his current CI and that he's benefitting from it.  Of course he is, on both counts.  So hopefully, by the end of May, early June, we'll be heading to Omaha for 10 days for surgery. 

Now listen. Don't get all excited thinking he's going to magically hear right away.  That's not the case at all.  His brain doesn't know how to hear from his left ear.  The last time his brain had to deal with those neurological signals was when he was 2.  So his brain is going to have to re-learn all of that information.  He may hear just as well (over time) on the left side as he does on the right.  He might only be able to hear noise on that side.  Only time (and intensive therapy) will tell.

But we are optimistic.  When Mr. Fantastic was in the hospital with meningitis, the blessings he received told him he would be as if he never got sick.  I know he will be able to hear out of his left ear again.  It will take a lot of practice and work, but he wants this.  He'll work at it, I know it.

Anyway.  We're proud of him for making the choice and we're glad he's so excited for it.
I'll keep you all updated as soon as we know more.

(On a side note.  Princess Monkey Eyes taught herself how to ride a two-wheeler on Monday.  No help from Popeye or myself - we just watched as she kept trying and trying.  And now she can't be stopped! - unless she's headed for the neighbor's lawn, then she crashes there.)

busy?

Wow, it's been a while since I posted.  I've enjoyed having Popeye home.  He's a big help.  No, really, he is.  Those first few days were a little rough but we're back on track now.  In fact, he's helped me install the kitchen floor on Tuesday and has been busy trying to help me get the house ready to sell.

Yes, we're going to sell our house.  We live in a home that is just too small for us.  It was too small for us to begin with, but there's nothing we can do about that now - other than sell it and look for something bigger.

So, if you'll look on my side bar there's a LOOONG list of things for me (er, I guess Popeye will help a little, but not as much as I'd like) to do before we list it.  Check it out if you dare.  It might take a good 15 minutes to read, it's so long.  But imagine it being longer, because I got lots done while Popeye was gone.  And those things aren't even listed.

So if anyone's feeling ambitious, you can come help me tackle those things.  If you'll look hard, most of it is painting trim.  Thanks be to Little Sister and my mother for all the new trim in my house.  It was a blessing and my house looks SO pretty with it in.  But now comes the task of painting it and there's lots of it to do.  Lucky me.

Sariqd asked me how I do it all.
Caffiene.  Lots of it.  It is my best friend.  And yes, I know that I'm addicted.  I have a problem.  I don't think I'm strong enough to do all of these things on top of my daily obligations without the help of 2 huge adrenaline rushes during the day.  If someone has a secret, please share.  If not, don't judge me.  You like your diet coke, I like my slim quick. So there.

Anyway.  Keep looking at the sidebar every now and then.  It's gonna get shorter - and fast.  Today's task (after work) was to pick up some 2" wide trim for under the cabinets in the kitchen.  I cut and installed those, installed the heat register and finished off the edge of the step down out of the kitchen onto the landing.  Looks good.
Tomorrow I think I want to finish installing trim.  My friend needs her nail gun back, I'm sure.  And that would be several things off my list.  But with 5 - 11" of snow in the forcast, my better bet would be to install the bathroom floor. 

Ah well.  Wish me luck!  (And pop over to Sariqd's blog, she just had a baby and has posted pics!  He's a doll!!!!)